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Removing the coils of rope wrapped around my waist is comparatively easy, as is freeing my thighs from their rings of barbed wire and my knees from their embraces of rope.Only my ankles are now holding me to the ladder. I squat down, almost sitting into the snow. I have to dig out the snow to get to my blue feet. Here again I find the keyholes frozen. By now, my hands are too cold to be of any help, and I feel so tired and cold that I could not wait as long as I did for my collar. I would probably die in the process. I yank on the chains several times, trying to break them or jar them. But the steel is too resistant for my weakening muscles. Once again I feel despair feeling my heart as snow is slowly heaping upon my humped back and head.And then the ultimate idea comes to my mind. Yes, it can work if only I can manage to do it. I concentrate deeply, squatting in the accumulating snow. I feel it coming. I pull on my ankles cuffs, sliding them closer. And suddenly, I pull my thong. Men are strange animals indeed; they love to have us women ingest their semen, but they want no part of tasting their sperm themselves. Moments later, as I walked out the door, I heard him say, “Mom, I love you so much.” And I knew he really did. At the office...I arrived at work, still aware of the very faint taste of Robert’s semen and uncertain what I should do, or what I could do with this emotionally and morally complicated mess in which I found myself. But my first step was to go to the ladies room to brush my teeth. As irrational as it might sound to you, I was fearful that the scent of Robert's semen might be detectable on my breath. I was paranoid that someone would somehow instinctively uncover the truth and discover the horrific act I was committing. Part of me kept questioning whether or not I was truly the monster that society would label me if they only knew. Mothers do not sleep with their stepsons, ever. But I had done just that. I did not fully understand how this.
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